If is an odd word. I went to my doctors two weeks ago to get results from an ultra sound and was informed that it appears I have a spot on my liver, it might be cancer... and here's the kicker... I was told "but don't worry." How in heck can anyone tell someone that they might have cancer and not to worry! Today I went for some necessary blood work for Friday, this is when they will do a CT scan and the results from this scan will determine whether or not I do have cancer.
IF I do have cancer I will live like I was dying without being reckless and wasting time on trivial things in life. I will continue to treat people as I would like to be treated and I will still tell the people I love that I do love them!
IF I do indeed have cancer I will cross that bridge when I get there and consult with my doctor and the specialists. I don't feel like I'm going anywhere just yet, hell I've only just started to really live!
If I do not have cancer I will do my happy dance and carry on my merry little way! I will still do pretty much the same as I would do even IF I have cancer, it's my nature to be who I am. When I question myself about who I am I listen to a song by Laura Smith (An Eastern Canadian), she sings a song which brings tears to my eyes... the part which touches me is when she sings "I'm the person I've always wanted to be." And yup, that's me!
I am refusing to let this get me down, I'm too busy to worry, hell I'm not even moved yet! All that I wanted painted for now is complete and what a feeling this is.... feelings of sore, tired muscles, feelings of sore feet and eyes not wanting to stay open! I'd best quit for the night, another early morning coming up!
All is well in my world!
Oh, Darlin, I will be holding my breath with you until Friday to hear the results of your CT. The wait is excruciating. I can't imagine the stress that you are in. Hugs from CA.
ReplyDeleteKeep up with all your positive thinking and you will be fine. I believe all in life happens for a reason and everything turns out for the best in the end. My thoughts are with my new friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies, I too believe that everything in life happens for a reason and sometimes I do get to know the reason whereas other times it's plain out none of my business! I was debating posting there here, but I do want others to see who I really am, my life is not all peaches and cream. Opus it's like that photo you posted, that took tons of courage to show the world what it is like to be on the receiving end of abuse! I admire you for what you did, this might one day give that one lady a push to get help or help herself. I can relate to that type of abuse, I have lived with and through abuse in my past.
ReplyDeleteFor today I will remain positive, this has given me an extra four years already! One of these days I will post a video which my sister made of and for me, I have also made one, and in the meantime I'll keep praying.
For now, if I don't get in that shower I'm going to be late for work! Have a great day Opus and Davine!
Note to self, do not come to blogger when half asleep, too many typos... sheeesh! lol
ReplyDeleteWe are keeping our fingers (and toes) crossed for you Mom. I don't pray very often, but I will be (and have already) in this case. Make sure to let me know the moment you get your results please!
ReplyDeleteThank you Shayne. This is nail bitting for sure, well when I have the time to think about it all. I have tons of confidence in the specialists at the UofA if need be.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time is all I can do right now, just take it all one day at a time. And, for sure will be one of the first to know, you Derek and Michelle. I love you all so very much, I could sit here and type all day long to each of you but I'll start to cry and none of that now, I've got moving to get to!
Darlene, you have this licked I am sure. Your amazing positive attitude to like is what will see you through this difficult time. I will be adding you to my prayer list. First for the patience to wait for your results and then for the strength to deal with the answers.
ReplyDeleteI am so grateful that you have come into my life and I love, love, love reading your Blog.
God Bless you and keep you safe
Beverly
I do hope that all works out well - and "negative" on the tests.
ReplyDeleteAt least you have a good book to read.
ReplyDeleteI have plenty of good books to read LL, just not the one I'm patiently waiting for YET! :-)
ReplyDeleteThank you all here for your support and kind words, soon enough the test will be here and I'll know one way or the other. I'm sure that I'll be reading all of your blogs and contributing to mine for many years to come yet!
Words alone cannot express my gratitude to each of you so here's a virtual hug! ( )
Darlene, you are a very strong and couragous women and I know that your positive attitude will get you through this, whatever it is!
ReplyDeleteIF you weren't the person you'd always wanted to be, the Blogosphere would be Shades of Grey, rather than the Vibrant Colours you bring to it, Darlene.
ReplyDeleteLove hearing the experiences of your life and your day-to-day happenings. Even the 'difficult' ones!
Thanks for Shining Brightly!
I don't fully know how to respond to this post (or to the news since you first told me). I love you and I don't want any of this to even be a possibility so for now I'm living in denial that you could possibly have anything more than gallstones.
ReplyDeleteI love your friend Michelle's post above - not only do you bring vibrant colours to the blogoshpere but to our family as well.
Ultimately, I know you're in God's hands and there's no better place you could possibly be.
Well here it is, the night before the tests. I want to take this time to thank each one of you for your prayers and support. Your kind words have helped me immensely.
ReplyDeleteI am also on facebook yet I chose not to share this trying time in my life over there, there's too many busybodies on facebook! ;-) I'm not saying that all of my friends there are this way but I'd rather not have 200 people freaking out of taking needlessly.
I have come to know each of you here though your words and choices of what you share and it would be fantastic to meet each one of you one of these fine days... well less my family naturally, heck I already know you! lol
So ya, it's time to post my P365, thank you all once again and tomorrow I wonder if they'll allow me to take my camera into the exam room where they do the CT scan? I can be pretty sneaky or convincing when I want to be! hmmm, now I have to think of a way to do this one first thing in the morning.
Good night all and God bless each and every one of you!
And LL, yes the other house is sparking clean... now to get to this one!